Holiday From the Ordinary
by Remo Con
Summary: cowritten with mandapandabug...Holidays mean hypothermia for Joey. Its the season for sales according to Seto. Will a chance encounter on Christmas Eve help teach them otherwise? shonenai SetoJoey
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: We don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or the concept of Christmas. Please, contain your shock. You have to live through the holiday season or we'll feel guilty. **_

**Holiday** **From the Ordinary: Chapter 1**

Snow really was awful. It was wet, cold, and wet. Joey sneezed into his coat sleeve again, loudly. This elected a few more stares from random people along the street walking near him, everyone one of them going to a nearby friend's house or such. Joey could almost see the thoughts running across their minds.

_-Oh no, mustn't get to close, he's probably contagious._

_-I give him another five minutes before he keels over… _

_-Poor dear, why isn't he at home? _

_-Do I want to give him the tissue, or do I simply want to walk on and ignore him? Hmm… _

If he weren't feeling so miserable, Joey probably would have laughed. But as it was, his dad was drinking himself into a stupor again (he was always just peachy around the holiday season) so Joey was out in the cold and wet with a cold. With no where to go because he didn't want to explain to any of his friends why he wasn't at home on Christmas Eve, or at least _going somewhere_ like a normal person.

"A-choo!" Joey sniffled, feeling like he was drowning in this stupid snow. Or maybe it was his misery he was sinking into. Either way it was another water analogy, which he did not appreciate at the moment. Why anyone found anything magical about this stuff was beyond him. Why anyone wanted to have a white Christmas (or Christmas for that matter) was seriously beyond him.

He continued to wander along the sidewalk and into the park, watching as everyone else disappeared and soon all that was left was the street lights illuminating the sky enough for Joey to be able to watch more retched snow fall.

About halfway into the park he sat down on a bench and stuffed his hands into his pockets. Sitting down made him feel like a complete marshmallow in his stupid winter coat. It's not like it was even keeping him sufficiently warm. What a waste of material…

Joey stared off into space, not really focusing on anything, and after a few minutes his eyes began to droop and sleep started to over take him. He tried to keep conscious, but soon he found himself consumed by darkness and he welcomed it. No more thinking, just simple bliss. And so content, Joey slept, slowly beginning the journey to freezing to death.

Lucky for him another misfit happened to be wandering around and come upon him.

A group of carolers stood just outside the park, trying to serenade everyone and anyone who was near by. Kaiba held a special distain for carolers. He was tempted for a moment to run them all down- what kind of person did you have to be to think you could "bring joy" to others by wailing like a dying cat? But he could hear Mokuba's voice in his head, warning him not to hit even one. So with a sigh of disappointment he parked and with one last glare at the hellish singers, he walked into the park.

"Oh holy night, the stars are brightly shining," came the strained notes of the carolers.

"Hardly," Kaiba muttered to himself with a quick glance upwards. There weren't any stars at all, the snow storm had seen to that.

He walked farther and farther along the sidewalk, not really thinking, just staring ahead of him. Walking in this park was about close to a Christmas tradition as he got. Christmas wasn't a holiday he held in high regard. Though he had to admit sales were excellent during this time of year.

He watched his breath as it became foggy as soon as he exhaled, feeling the cold begin to get to him. It was a long ride home, and he hadn't exactly brought the best vehicle for winter travel.

He still liked it. But it wasn't entirely practical.

It was time to be going back home. He would not doubt find Mokuba standing by the window, waiting anxiously for him to return. He was about ready to turn and leave when something caught his eye, sitting on a park bench, appearing to be fast asleep. What kind of idiot would be sleeping on a park bench in this weather?

Oh well, it wasn't his problem.

"Big, brother, how can you just leave someone there, freezing to death?" he heard Mokuba's scold him. He knew he would hear Mokuba yelling at him all the way home if he didn't do something. Then his younger brother would see his guilty face when he walked in the door and start yelling at him in person after managing to elicit a confession.

Kaiba scowled, walking over. It would at least save him the trouble of having to explain this to Mokuba.

"Hey, mutt, wake up!"

Joey opened his eyes to find the last person he wanted to see standing almost on top of him. The big blue eyes, the stuck up smirk, and the tall, muscular…crap. Clearly almost freezing to death was affecting his train of thought.

"Mutt, are you there?" Kaiba asked, sounding annoyed that Joey might possibly be suffering, or more annoying still, dead, in front of him.

"Yes," Joey snapped as best he could under the circumstances. His lips were, after all, practically frozen together. "Now ya can go away."

"As good an idea as that sounds, mutt," Kaiba said, rolling his eyes. "I can't leave you out here by yourself since it is most likely that you would fall back asleep and so poor policeman would find your frozen body her tomorrow." That would be such a nice thing to say, Joey thought, if he didn't sound so sarcastic. Or nicer than what he usually yells at me anyway.

"Don't worry 'bout caring…for…me," Joey said with difficulty. "I'll be okay. Just leave."

"Let me take you home," Kaiba said coolly. "And then I'll leave. I'm not going to have your death on my conscious." Joey doubted that Kaiba had a conscious, but he decided against voicing this particular opinion.

"Just go…not going home," Joey growled.

"Fine then, you're coming to my house." Kaiba somehow managed to loop his arm around Joey chest and lift him up. Joey pushed him away and stumbled, unable to stand up on his own. Great, he thought. Now I'm cold, with Kaiba, and half-paralyzed. My day can not get any better!

"Don't be stupid, mutt. Let me help you." This time there was something that seemed to be genuinely nice in Kaiba's tone. Something that caused Joey to relax and let Kaiba put his arm halfway around to support him.

As they walked down the path together, Joey found himself leaning closer and closer against Kaiba. He was thankful he was too cold to blush.

At the end of the path was something truly surprising.

"You have a motorcycle?"

"Is there something wrong with that?"

"No," Joey said, mystified at this spectacular revelation. How would have thought- Kaiba, Mr. Must Have A Limo At All Times, had a motorcycle. He does know that he has to drive it himself, right, Joey thought. But as soon as the thought crossed his mind he shot it down. Kaiba had to have come to the park on it after all, so clearly he must be able to drive it.

"Hey, mutt," Kaiba grunted.

"What?" Joey asked, irritated that Kaiba's insensitive voice kept knocking him out of his thoughts.

"Get. On. The. Motorcycle." Joey glared.

"Make me." A wicked gleam shone in Kaiba's eyes and Joey quickly regretted his words. Oh shit, I just challenged Kaiba. Kaiba! Of all people! Mental note, never, ever, nearly freeze to death on Christmas Eve again, it seriously screws with one's self-preservation sense.

Before he knew what was happening Joey found himself sitting on the motorcycle with Kaiba sitting in front of him.

"Hold on tight," Kaiba advised. That did not sound good, Joey thought. It would be rather pathetic to get killed after nearly dying of hypothermia just to become a casualty of Kaiba's crazy- but at that moment Kaiba started the motorcycle and sped off.

"Kaiba- stop! Slow down! There's ice on the road! Kaibaaaaaaaaa!"

**Author Notes: All right, I, that is to say, Remo Con wrote this chapter, so any mistakes here are mine (though mandapandabug did really try to help correct me). I know, it's right before Christmas. Day before Christmas Eve. Why start a Christmas fic now? –looks guilty- well truth is my computer went through a rough period lately, and I wasn't able to recover this story for a while…big long complicated story. –sighs- anyway, even though its almost Christmas, I hope everyone's still in the mood for another Seto/Joey Christmas fic. Because after all this will be the best one ever. With us writing it, how could it not be? Merry Christmas to everyone! And might I suggest reviewing…come on people, it's the season of giving!**


	2. Chapter 2

**_Hello puppets… no I think of you all as wonderful individuals with minds of your own… XP love to you! I really hope you read and review and enjoy and love and comment and are amazed by this chapter. _****__**

Warnings are: there is some cursing and hurting… not violence, but hurting… oh and run on sentences. I love those things; I'm addicted to run on sentences. That's it.

Disclaimer for you all, just so you know, I own nothing but some, mind you, some, of the ideas in this story, no characters, no OCs, and not the entire plot, Remo-con owns some of it, can't take all the credit.

Do enjoy the show kiddies, even though some of you are older then me… 

**Chapter 2 **

But at that moment Kaiba started the motorcycle and sped off.

"Kaiba- stop! Slow down! There's ice on the road! Kaibaaaaaaaaa!" 

_Joey's side _

As they continued to speed down the icy street, full of Joey's pleas for Kaiba to slow down, Joey couldn't help but remember why he disliked riding on motorcycles.

"Wow Tris, this is amazing!" Joey said in awe at the new Harly Davidson that Tristan drove up in. Joey was expecting that old rundown car the Honda normally drove.

"You like it?" Tristan asked very proud of himself. "Saved up for ages till I had enough for the down payment, then I sold my old car for extra cash for gas for it. Really nice isn't it?"

"I've never been on one of these before. Really is a hotrod huh?" Joey smiled at his best friend.

"Well gawking isn't getting us to the arcade any sooner now is it?" Tristan threw Joey a helmet and gestured for him to get on the back. Now most would find this is a strange idea, what would that look like? But they were so good of friends that the idea was no less strange then Joey asking for food from all his friends after he finished his lunch.

So Joey caught the helmet and got on the back, it was much more spacious then at first glance for Joey had lots of room between himself and Tristan, but that didn't matter for as soon as Tristan thought Joey was holding on and safe enough, in other words barely safe at all, he started the bike up and was off in a flash with Joey screaming just like he was with Kaiba right now.

Now this didn't start Joey's fear of riding motorcycles, no, it was the fact that Tristan's speed and the similarly icy streets caused Tristan to lose control almost instantly and they both were thrown off the vehicle onto the snow. They weren't hurt, except for innumerable bruises, Tristan's irreversibly damaged ego, and Joey's faith in   
Tristan's driving abilities never quite recovered. Just to say, he never did that again.

That incident was the cause of Joey's slight fear of riding motorcycles. He still loved to look at them though.

After Joey finished his pleas for Kaiba to slow, screaming Kaiba's name continuously, he felt a bit more confident and stopped his pleas. Kaiba, being the smart, rational, confident, young men he is, sped up about 10 more mph (16 kph). This caused Joey to become even more scared and cling as tight as he could to Kaiba's back as humanly possible.

All he could think about was how scared he was, and (in the back of his mind) how much he was going to kill Kaiba when they finally stopped, but after a while, he started to calm down, and took a deep breathe. A lovely smell assaulted his nostrils; it smelt like some kind of expensive cologne. Joey opened his eyes, feeling much more comfortable, though not letting up his grip on Kaiba in the least. He may have even heard the sound of ribs cracking as he clung more tightly once he saw how fast everything was flying by them, trees, people, buildings, even other cars on the road.

'Oh man, this isn't good… I can't do anything though, right?' Joey's mind tried to reason. 'Come on try to think of something else to help relax.' The only thing Joey could think of was how Kaiba got him into this.

'Man I don't know how anyone could like a guy like Kaiba. He has all those fawning girls that only want him for his money and power. Well I could think of lots of people who would want someone like that… They would skin me alive if they found out I was this close to "their" Kaiba…' Joey looked up at the back of Kaiba's helmet, with much difficulty considering how close they were. Joey then realized just that.

'Shit, I was so scared I got this close to the guy!' Joey thought in disgust and suddenly let go of Kaiba's waist, obviously without any thought about the consciences. This must have startled Kaiba and he suddenly swerved, nearly hitting a car, but caught himself and narrowly missed it, which caused Joey to once again cling to Kaiba tighter then ever.

"Dammit, Kaiba," Joey yelled, finding his voice again.  
"Pay attention to the road! Who was stupid enough to give you a license,  
anyway?"

_Seto's side_

Kaiba just had to laugh to himself at how scared Joey seemed. 'Though,' he thought, 'going so fast on an icy road is something to be scared of…' Kaiba thought about this for a minute, but then decided that Kaiba  
has no fear and sped up 10 fold. This resulted in Joey being so close to Kaiba that he could feel the blonde's every breath, he could even feel Joey's eyes squeezed shut against his back.

'Maybe I should have given him a helmet,' Kaiba mused. 'Oh well, too late now. It'd just be in his best interest to not fall.'

They stayed like this for a while. Kaiba would unconsciously glance down at Joey's hands that were hugging his waist just to reassure himself that Joey had not fallen off, which Kaiba thought to be such an absurd thing for him to do, that every time he caught himself do it, he mentally berated himself.

After a few more moments of peace Kaiba felt Joey loosen his hold, a sudden cold hit his back as he felt the warmth that Joey had provided leave his back. Kaiba experienced a sudden fear that Joey had fallen asleep or something of that sort, and turned back to check, forgetting he was steering the motorcycle. The bike swerved, nearly hitting a car,  
but using his amazing Kaiba powers he managed to catch it before he killed himself and Joey. The sudden scare had caused Joey to cling to him even more, digging his face into Kaiba's back again.

Kaiba couldn't just let Joey get off with almost causing him to crash, so he did the most Kaiba thing he could think of.

_Normal View_

"Mutt! You almost killed me. What were you thinking? I'm trying to help you if you didn't care to notice."

Joey held on tighter to Kaiba and lifted his face to see the back of Kaiba's head. "Sorry moneybags, but if you didn't drive like a maniac maybe you wouldn't have lost control so easily."

To this, Kaiba had to mentally agree, of course he wouldn't agree with that barking dog to his face. That would be like admitting defeat, which was out of the question entirely.

"Maybe if you didn't suddenly let go of me and make me think you fell off or something, I wouldn't have looked back." Kaiba didn't know what he was insinuating at the time, and Joey didn't either, seeing only the negative of everything Kaiba said. He never looked any deeper then necessary as to not feel so bad about being insulted. Joey would never admit it, but being insulted so much with the pain he already had to suffer did enough damage, he didn't need to dwell any deeper into something as agonizing as an insult.

They said nothing else to one another the rest of the ride, and as scared as Joey was, he stopped his clinging and held very loosely to Kaiba. To both of their relief the Kaiba mansion was right in front of them.

When Kaiba slowed down going up the driveway, Joey suddenly felt so cold, and yet, hotter then he could stand. He started to get dizzy, felt faint, but he kept holding on just the same. He started to wonder why he came, what was he doing here.

Kaiba suddenly stopped the bike and jumped off, more then relieved to be getting off, like a prisoner finally set free. Kaiba also started wondering what he was doing, why he brought Joey with him. It certainly wasn't holiday cheer or any of that crap, but for some reason the idea of hearing that Joey had frozen to death wasn't as enjoyable as it would have been in the past.

'Maybe,' Kaiba thought, 'I could use him to help boost sale, seeing me as a better person… no that-'

While Kaiba was trying to find answers, Joey's mind became blank. Joey could just barely turn his head toward Kaiba and whispered his name. This stopped Kaiba's mental thought as he looked at Joey for what he wanted, but Joey couldn't say another word, he felt so weak He hated this feeling, hated himself for doing this in front of his worst enemy, but it couldn't be helped, and before he knew it, his ailing body was racing its way toward the ground. 

Kaiba went as fast as he could to try and catch him, like a cat pouncing on a mouse, but he only just managed to put his hands under Joey's head to stop him from getting any kind of concussion or something of the sort. The rest of Joey's body hit the ground, except a leg that was still draped over the bike.

At this point Kaiba's hands hurt so bad he had to slip them out from under Joey's head to examine them. There wasn't much visible damage yet, just some scratches, but he knew there would be bruises.

Joey on the other hand was holding his shoulder in pain, breathing deeply. Cursing the whole way, Kaiba carried Joey into his house.

"Mokuba!" Kaiba yelled as loud as he could, knowing the kid wouldn't hear otherwise, locked in his room as he always was. But Kaiba didn't stay and wait, he would meet half way, why waste time? Mokuba met him on the stairs, he didn't believe what was in front of him, Kaiba carrying Joey, in their house.

"No fucking way," Mokuba breathed.

"Mokuba, language. Call the doctor quickly." Kaiba said, always   
straightforward.

"What happened?" 

"I said hurry!" Kaiba said frustrated as he climbed the rest of the stairs to a guest room primarily used for people who are ill in their house, like maids and butlers, or injured.

He set Joey down and finally got a good look at him. Joey's hair was in disarray; his face was crunched as if he was in pain, which Kaiba figured was due his shoulder. Kaiba felt Joey's forehead compared to his own. Joey's was much hotter, he needed help now.

"You just love causing me trouble, don't you, Wheeler," Kaiba murmured.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Since it's been so long since the last chapter, it's probably in the best interest of everyone to be reminded that we don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. Which is probably just as well, because it wouldn't have gotten out in anything resembling a timely fashion. And then we never would have known what the pharaoh's name was…**

_Holiday_ _From the Ordinary_

_Chapter Three_

"Mr. Kaiba, the next time someone collapses in your household, bring him to the hospital. He could actually be seriously ill," the doctor said irritably, pushing his glasses up his nose.

Business men, Seto reflected, are usually corrupt. But at least they are worthless to society and easily replaced. For some reasons he felt his conscience twinge when he debated crushing the doctor's career.

Damn sparks of humanity.

"Lucky for you and your friend he's just got a bad cold, which I suspect was exaggerated by him wandering around outside in this weather. Now when he wakes up, give him two of these pills, which he should take every six hours. If you can't remember that, you'll find the directions on the bottle. Keep him in doors, preferably lying down. If by some chance he does get worse, do not call me, bring him to the hospital. Now if that's all, Merry Christmas. I'll be sending you my bill Monday," the doctor snapped, looking down at his watch.

'Late for a precious family dinner?' Seto thought scathingly. 'Sorry for asking you to do your job.' What kind of day was it when a doctor worked impatiently? 'A holiday,' he answered himself in disgust.

"He's hardly my friend," was what he said aloud.

"Then the next time your boyfriend is ill, bring him to the hospital. Merry Christmas and goodbye, Mr. Kaiba." And the doctor was gone before he could be corrected.

Boyfriend? Seto shuddered slightly. Repulsive…

"Seto!" Mokuba announced cheerfully, bounding out of the sickroom and down the staircase. "It's time to watch Christmas specials! You promised, remember?"

Wheeler collapsed in their garage and still Mokuba managed to remember promises Seto dearly wished he'd never made (but never had to heart to refuse). It was miraculous- if you believed in that sort of thing.

"Of course, Mokuba," he sighed. Normally the programs his brother wasted precious brain cells on were bad enough, but at least they didn't have underlying messages- and more importantly he was never coerced into watching. But these Christmas specials…

Guilt trips over not spending enough time with your family, over not understanding the 'true meaning of the season' (If there was a deeper meaning than making sure your companies sales went through the roof, he certainly couldn't see it) and believing in damn miracles….just the tip of the iceberg.

Christmas specials dragged up every last indecent thing you've ever done and even though the same ones were played every year they still managed to induce extreme discomfort and, in rare circumstances, heartfelt pledges to do better following the pitiful yet reproachful look in your brother's eyes.

"Come on, they're starting!" 'No, Mokuba,' Seto thought darkly, 'They've been playing nonstop all week.'

But some things were better left unsaid. There was still next year to think of.

"Coming," Seto said, containing a sigh. It was almost more tempting to go and watch Wheeler sleep.

Almost.

Speaking of whom, Seto glanced down at his watch. About seven; wonderful, he'd be waking up to give the mutt his medicine in the middle of the night.

He should've left him there to freeze.

"Seto!" Mokuba yelled from the living room. With a last, drawn out moment of utter despair, he put the medicine bottle in his pocket and headed into the room. He swore himself blue later that he'd heard the funeral march accompanying his steps.

**SKJW**

It wasn't so cold anymore, Joey noted. In fact, it was quite warm. Actually, it was really warm. Too warm, come to think of it.

He shot up.

Something didn't seem quite right. He vaguely remembered being on a motorcycle and…Kaiba! He definitely remembered Kaiba, and if he had to guess, he'd say this bed belonged to Kaiba as well. If he saw Tristan and Duke doing something with his little sister that they should not be doing, then this was his worst nightmare. (Well, right after that one where he was stranded naked in the Shadow Realm with no food anywhere and Tristan and Duke where doing things they should not be doing without his sister anywhere in sight)

So, if he counted back from ten, one of two things should happen. A: he would wake up, back in the park. B: Kaiba would come in the room and the nightmare would get worse.

…

Or he would continue to be sitting up in this bed, the only difference being a ten second lapse in time. Well he'd be damned if he was just going to stay here. It reeked of charity and from Kaiba no less. He was Joey Wheeler and –oh god, whose pajamas were these and where were his clothes?!

"Kaiba!" Joey yelled. Well, croaked emphatically. "Kaiba get in here now!"

**SKJW**

Commercial breaks, Seto decided, where god's gift to mankind. Or at the very least, a gift to him. Much as Mokuba sat there dejectedly during the moments when Rudolph and company left the screen, or you were left hanging as to whether Satoshi would work things out with his family before it was too late, Seto felt he had earned every single last of these ads. Every attempt to escape by getting food had been thwarted, and the Christmas tree Mokuba had insisted upon glared at him ominously every time his attention slipped away from Kira rediscovering the true meaning of Christmas.

It was hell.

Most people didn't realize that hot coca, and not a fiery eternity, was the devil's choice torment.

He was beginning to debate the merits of various forms of suicide and homicide when Wheeler staggered into the room.

"Kaiba," Joey croaked, "Where the hell are my clothes?"

Seto glanced at Mokuba, too involved in Frosty's dilemma to have even noticed Wheeler's entrance, and saw his escape route.

He took it.

Even if it would have been more entertaining to watch Wheeler agonize a little more.

**Author's Notes (Remo): Some people post up Valentine-esque fics today. I say, why celebrate such the current holiday when it can be Christmas again? (Also, convienently I have a snow day today. So the chapter that's been typed up with hopefully all the corrections done for a couple weeks now is finally being posted) And hey, February vacation is in a few days, so it's looking decidedly hopeful toward updates of other long ignored fics. Not to mention the emergence of a new puppyshipping fic…but shh…we'll pretend that's not halfway a bribe for everyone to forgive me for taking so long to post this chapter.**

**Remo**


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